We want more! We want more!
I'm still in one piece!
- I think... - I can't imagine why.
Our descent into the volcano of Mt. Etna -
- should have been slowed by a rising cushion of warm air.
The damn thing seems to have gone out.
Oh, no! Not more giants!
Can I help you tiny mortals?
I sincerely hope so. I'm Baron Munchausen.
You may have heard of me. We're looking for three men.
One with exceptional eyesight, one with superb hearing, -
- and one who's extremely large and strong.
Oh, we're all extremely large and strong here!
I am Vulcan. The god.
And these are my giant employees.
The Cyclops. Who even now are going back to work!
I supply arms and equipment to anyone who will pay the price.
Greeks, Trojans, Romans, Huns...
It's not my fault they're crazy enough to slaughter each other.
You manky crew! Your go-slows don't impress me, I'm God!
I have all the time in the universe. Hear that? All the time, me!
In the old days the staff got paid every 1,000 years.
This lot expects it every century. It's outrageous!
- What's this? - This is our prototype...
RX intercontinental, -
- radar-sneaky, multi-warheaded, nuclear missile.
What does it do?
- It kills the enemy. - All the enemy?
All of them. All their wives, children, sheep, cats and dogs...
- All of them, gone for good. - That's horrible!
Well, you see...
The advantage is, you don't have to see one single one of them die.
You just sit comfortably, thousands of miles from the battlefield, -
- and simply press the button.
Where's the fun in that?
We cater for all sorts here.
You'd be surprised...
Would you care for a little fodder, perhaps?
Delicious!
It's not bad tea, as far as nectar of the gods goes.
You can stay as long as you like. It's nice to have company for tea.
I'm sorry, but we have to go soon.
We're in a hurry!
Here comes my midget manservant with the petits fours.
- Albrecht! - Baron! Berthold!
- What are you doing here? - Looking for you.
I haven't got the treasure. I spent... gave it to charity.
I don't want the treasure. Albrecht, this is Sally.
I want you to come and fight the Turk.
No, I couldn't do that. Not since I've found myself.
I didn't really want to be big and strong and carry things.
Now I know I want to be dainty and sensitive.
They call me the midget down here. I love it.
He's gone funny.
Hello.
My darling... my dearest!
Excuse me. May I introduce Baron Munchausen, -
- and his little friend Sally, and...
...Berthold.
And this is Venus.
The goddess. My wife.
Madam, I am overwhelmed.
My love, my life.
Alpha and omega of my existence! I have something for you.
A diamond.
For you, my precious.
You're so sweet.
Another diamond.
Madam, I am alas unable to offer you so splendid a gift, -
- but may I say, your beauty excels even Catherine the Great, -
- whose hand in marriage I once had the honour of declining.
- Baron, you flatter me. - Not one jot, madam!
Not one tittle!
What a handsome...
...moustache.
Shall we... dance?
Come and see the ballroom.
Nice, isn't it? We've just had it done.
Do you know that?
I can dance. Here, watch this.
- Sally, you can dance, can't you? - No.
Thanks a lot.
Stop!
Baron!
Can we go now?
Hello!
Stop it! Come down!
We've got to get back and save the town.
- Please, Baron! - Don't fret. The town is safe.
The baron's kissing your wife.
I mean, what?
You're a harlot! Whore! Do you hear? Whore, whore!
That's enough, you strumpet.
No, wait, please...
- But, darling! - Don't you "darling" me!
Do something. Save him!
- Darling, don't be jealous. - Jealous? I'm not jealous.
Give him back to me!
- You never let me have friends. - Don't wiggle at men, you floozy!
- Floozy? - Sir, I must assure you...
- I'm a goddess! I can do as I like. - And I am the god, so shut up!
Excuse me...
Ungrateful mortal!
- You'll pay for this! - I insist the lady is blameless.
Please, put the baron down. He's always like that.
- What have you done to them? - You small-minded petty bourgeois!
- What have you done to the baron? - You want the baron?
- You can have the baron! - No thanks, it's okay...
Did you enjoy that?
Did I excite you?
Oh, damn! I can't swim.
What's happening? You've got old again.
Well, I've just been expelled from bliss. And it's your fault!
Where are we?
Answer me!
The most probable explanation -
- is that we dropped through the world's centre to the South Seas.
- That's miles away. - Oh, well done!
- I was happy in my volcano. - So was I.
An island!
- Is there a volcano on it? - Shut up about your volcanoes!
I think there is a volcano on it.
It's moving!
- I spy something starting with "M". - It's a demon of the deep!
That starts with "D", you klutz. "M"...for monster!
- Will it eat us? - With any luck.
Baron!
Quick, give me a hand.
- He looks dead to me. - He can't be dead.
He doesn't look very perky, does he?
Is there a doctor in the fish?
No doctors... no doctors.
- We've got to get him warm and dry. - What's that noise?
It's... music.
That's not music.
Look!
There's a light. Come on!
This way... careful!
Excuse me!
We need some help.
- We need some help. - No doctors!
Do I hear the baron?
Eh?
Do I hear the baron?
- No doctors! - Do I hear the baron?
I just said that. Use your trumpet!
Adolphus. Gustavus. Is it really you?
- Baron! Berthold! Albrecht! - I don't believe it.
This is Adolphus. He could hit a bull's-eye halfway round the world.
This is Gustavus, who could blow over a forest with one breath.
Those were the days, eh? When we were young... and alive.
- How do you mean? - It's no good fighting it.
- We're not dead. - You have to accept it.
We're all dead here. This is Hell.
- Heaven! - Hell!
Don't be stupid!
Sit down, relax. Have a game.
You're dead for a very long time.
What are you doing?
You're giving up, aren't you?
- You can't, I won't let you! - Go away, clear off.
What about Rose and Daisy, and my father and all the others?
- You promised to help them. - They are perfectly safe.
They can look after themselves.
Besides, there are more important things.
Such as?
You horrible little brat!
Can't you let me die in peace once in a while?
Bucephalos! My Bucephalos.
You must have heard me shouting.
- This is a good omen, what? - Oh, yeah...
Prepare a rowing boat. Be ready to leave.
I have learned that a modicum of snuff can be most efficacious.
I'll never eat fish again.
- Where's the baron? - Baron?
Baron, where are you?
It's the baron.
Well, come on! I can't keep this up forever.
Look, the town! We're here.
Yes, and the flag's still flying. I told you not to worry.
My God, it's the Sultan's army. Quick, back in the fish!
They're inviting us to defeat them. We must oblige them.
On the count of three...
Gustavus! Blow them back to Asia Minor.
Adolphus! Find the Sultan and shoot him.
Albrecht, row us ashore. Berthold... make yourself useful.
You couldn't make that four?
We're going down!
Abandon ship! Abandon ship!
I think the ship's abandoning us.
I still can't swim.
This is absolutely dreadful.
I've never been in such a rout. I'm usually on the winning side.
- You're too competitive. - Albrecht's useless.
- We might as well give up. - You mustn't say that! Not you!
If we attack from two directions, we confound surprise with confusion.
Albrecht and Gustavus will provide the major themes, while...
- Baron. - Don't interrupt. What is it?
This isn't going to work.
They're old and tired now. It isn't like it used to be.
Don't you see?
- Where are you going? - To give myself up.
I gave my word I would raise the siege and gathered you all here.
If you want to see Baron Munchausen again, do something about it!
You can't give yourself up. They might kill you.
And then we spent all that time in that smelly fish for nothing.
Agreed. Friday 28th, you surrender. That's three weeks from tomorrow.
- We can fix the details later. - No, you surrender!
- We've discussed it. You surrender. - But we're winning!
We surrendered last time. Now it's your turn.
- What about the virgins? - Forget them. We're out of virgins.
Let us concentrate on reaching a civilised agreement -
- that can secure a world fit for science, progress...
But not Baron Munchausen!
- You old lunatic! - I'm afraid so.
Help, murder! Who let this man into my tent?
If you are still interested in my head... it's yours.
- I'm tired of it. - Send for the executioner!
So, Mr. Jackson, still the rational man?
How many people have perished in your logical little war?
There are rules in life. We cannot fly to the moon or defy death.
We must face facts, not folly. You don't live in the real world -
- and so, you come to a very sticky end.
- Have you any famous last words? - Not yet.
- "Not yet"? Is that famous? - The man's a buffoon.
Executioner! Execute.
He did it!
General, stop that man!
I knew we could do it! All together now.
Well blown, Gustavus.
- They're coming. - Come on, go on! Hurry!
Berthold, run.
Make yourself useful! I can't do everything.
This way.
That's the way!
Gently this time.
Gently!
We did it! We did it!
Look, they don't believe it. We've won! We've won!
- Come back! - We've won.
But of course.
Put me down!
He's in the church tower.
There he is, shoot him!
Bring a doctor! Quickly!
- Don't leave me, Baron. Please! - Get off him. Give him some air.
Here is the doctor.
- Take care of Sally. - No doctors...
No doctors.
Get away! Leave him alone!
Sally's having a fit.
Stop it!
He's dead.
...that was only one of the many times I met my death.
An experience which I don't hesitate strongly to recommend.
And so, with the help of my inestimable servants, -
- I defeated the Turks and saved the day.
And from that time forth, everyone who had a talent for it -
- lived happily ever after.
Stop this nonsense at once!
You are under arrest -
- for spreading ridiculous tales at a time of danger, -
- with the enemy at the gate. Arrest him.
Open the gates.
I order you to arrest that man at once.
Am I not the elected representative?
- Arrest him! - Open the gates.
This way!
- Come on. - Do not open the gates!
The Turk is outside. We will not surrender.
Open the gates.
Come on, dear ladies. Forward the players!
- Do not open the gates. - Keep up. Steady as you go.
Come back, I'm warning you! Do not open those gates.
Follow me!
- The gates will remain closed. - Open the gates.
Shoot anyone who disobeys my orders.
Hold your ground, hold your ground!
Open the gates, dear friends, and let's seize the day.
Nothing destroys a man as ignorance and conformity. Grasp the mantle!
No, no, no! Quite wrong.
Open the gates!
Shoot them!
Shoot these people at once!
So! It's treason, is it?
Right, you're all under arrest. All of you!
Bucephalos. My Bucephalos.
Beautiful ladies...
It wasn't just a story... was it?
English subtitles: IFT